I was saddened by an article in today's paper in which a young girl committed suicide because her boyfriend was harassing her. It makes me sit and rewind those days when I was going through a personal whirlwind and had decided that life was not worth living. I was so frustrated that even the thought of my 8 year old daughter did not dither me from taking this harsh decision.  

As I walked along the railway lines of the locality, waiting for a train to run over me, recapitulating the entire events of the past few years .... suddenly I was flooded with the faces of my parents. I remembered the helplessness in the eyes of my parents when I was in deathbed ( I had suffered from brain fever in my younger days and dr's had given up hope.) I remembered the resolute expression in my mom's eyes as the doctor pronounced that it was only a matter of time for me. Now when I remember that obsolete expression of hers, I  realize that she was already challenging God to dare and take me. I suddenly saw my 8 year old daughter standing near the doorway, helpless waiting for her mamma to come back. That's when I snapped off my present situation. That's when I realized that Life was actually beautiful and worth living because I had such adoring parents and a child who had all her hopes pinged on me. I could not let anyone else influence my decisions and matters of life. I immediately moved myself away from the railway lines and suddenly I heard the birds chirping and chanting's from a nearby temple. 

Still now, when I think of that dark day,I cannot contemplate how I could have ignored the importance of such beautiful people in my life. I could not envisage why and how I could allow strangers to rule my life when it had been so lovingly nurtured by my parents. That's when I made a promise to myself that whatever happens in future, whatever be the circumstances , my parents and my child will always remain my priority.I will never do anything that would make them living cadavers. I could not turn myself into an escapist and choose the easier way of ending my sufferings at the cost of their happiness. I thought of all the stories about parents with deformed children, of parents whose children were a disgrace to them and then I thought of my very beautiful and healthy daughter who had already started making a mark in the locality because of her intelligence and sweet behavior. I immediately said a short prayer and asked forgiveness from the almighty as he had already showered my life with his choicest of blessings, it was just my ignorance that I did not realize it. 

As I went through today's article, I wished the lady,like me, had an awakening at the right moment. Instead of taking such a drastic measure she could have confided in her parents. My heart goes out for the parents who have lost their precious gem.

 I do understand that sometimes circumstances block your thinking process and make you take steps that you would have otherwise never comprehended under normal situations. But again, if we keep on reminding ourselves that there are people out there whose sufferings are much worse than ours... we will start feeling lucky and privileged. We will start valuing our life.